A LIGHT OFMY OWN....AND IT SHINES JUST FOR ME....

Howdy folks......


how are all you people doing???iv been away a while....life has taken a whole new spin....from gutter to....hmm OK i cant think of a good word to put there...please improvise for me......


life is really intriguing...so is that word...i mean how intriguing is the word intriguing..wow.....but ya thats for later...back to life....life tends to give you a lot...it gives you first of all...a life...ur breathing...soo thats reason to be happy...then it gives you homes...parents that love you...a computer....the list goes on...but life for me is more than that...its given me everything...theres nothing missing in my life...that whole listing out thing i did last time soo i wont again...but life has given me everything....and then it goes and gives me the one thing i wanted the most....love...life gave me the love of someone that i love back as much as you can imagine....and thats amazing ...i could go on and on about what iv been given...on and on and on but il just show you what i mean....


this is for you....its all for you now...only you...the rest doesnt matter anymore.....hope you like it.....

AN IMAGE TO SAVOUR

FLOATING ABOVE THE DARK

KEPT AWAKE BY MY ETERNAL LIGHT

SAFE ONLY FROM MYSELF

LOST ONLY ON THE INSIDE

WITH THIS TIME,PASSING SO SLOW

THOUGHTS OF YOU GROW,BEYOND CONTROL

JUSTWHEN IT SEEMS HOPLESS

AN IMAGE COMES TO LIFE

IMAGE OF LOVE,HOPE AND COMFORT

ENCLOSES ME,AND KEEPS ME SAFE

SURROUNDED BY THAT IMAGE,NO HARM CAN BEFALL

SO PURE,SO COMPLETE,SO SERENE

THE IMAGE CAPTIVATES ME

SO SIMPLE TO BEHOLD

YET SO COMPLEX BY THOUGHT

TAKES OVER MY ALL

IN A TRANCE I RISE UP

ABOVE THE DARK,ABOVE THE FEAR

IN A TRANCE,I FALL DOWN

INTO THE LIGHT,INTO YOUR ARMS

THE IMAGE WAS YOUR BEAUTY

THE IMAGE WAS YOUR PRESENCE

THE IMAGE WAS YOU WITHIN ME

HOLDING ME,KEEPING ME SAFE

EVEN THOUGH THIS TIME TEARS ME APART

THE IMAGE OF YOU KEEPS ME ALIVE,WHOLE

EVEN THOUGH THIS DARK FILLS ME WITH FEAR

YOUR LOVE SURROUNDS AND DISTRACTS ME

EVEN THOUGH YOUR SO FAR AWAY

I FLOAT BACK,SUPPORTED BY OUR LOVE

WHEN I FALL,I KNW YOU'LL FALL WITH ME

AND I KNW I'LL LAND IN YOUR LOVE......FOREVER,IN YOUR LOVE...

......akash
for you...my angel..my soul...my all...........

IM BACK.......WAIT THATS NOT REALLY A GOOD THING...HIDE EVERYONE....HIDE.....

Iv lost hope...

i finally gave in...i couldn't stand it any longer ......

no matter how much i fought,in the end it int matter..

its true...im not lying,just my being here is proof of how weak i am....

just my stating this proves how i dont stand a chance,how next time it may be the last one...

its true...i finally decided to write another entry....even though i heard screams of ,how no one was reading it and no one cared any more...
but it was then i realised , when did people care in the first case......soooo here i am again at your mercy..


testing 1...2...3..
is anyone out there?????

im in Bangalore city...well pretty close to city...actually im in JP nagar 1st phase...i think..

ha that should fool all you out there trying to find me...

i have mathematically if not by pure imagination calculated a few universal laws that apply to me...i shall now proceed to list them out,regardless of the screams of protest........

universal laws.....

1. No matter where i go, there has to be a shawarma place extremely close to my house and if there isn't one then in a matter of days you will notice a building there where those kids used to play cricket...and then you notice the shawarma stall and you end up saying "hallheluia.praise the lord..."
2. There always exists a being who is willing to talk to me at lengths into the night regardless of sleep or things to talk about
3. I will always get my own room....no matter where i am..or how i got there ,there seems to always be a room there waiting for me ....and of course by some feat of illusionary science,its really big and has room for a drum set and a TV as well as my very own computer

i know,i know i don't deserve it but yet i get it...chase me down and take it away from me if you like,i probably wont protest much....oh and leave behind the drum set and guitar...did i mention i have a guitar...ya i do..unbelievable i know...........i must have done something really helpful to mankind in my previous life...like invented the toilet or something...

anyway its been a long day...i have a longer day tomorrow...well same 24 hours but yet it seems longer when you have to sit through an hour of an economics class,its even worse when your professor is an incompetent idiot but i can manage i have my book and an imagination that can spin the world the other way around..

if anyone reads this then..well I'm alive...

i guess you figured it out by now but just thought id let you know..

chal then....

new song...mayb next time...........

master of the puppets hes pulling your strings.....

amazing song , u have to agree . for some reason im stared at while head banging to this , and i open my eyes look around see a guy pointing at me from the other side of the basket ball court and then i see a guy in front of me video taping the thing n everyone else laughing at me sooo i close my eyes and wonder where the hell i ended up......

if headbanging to that song makes me a weirdo then damn it i am the proudest weirdo in the world.......

here i am people in Bangalore , its supposed to be one of the most upcoming city's in the world, some how i don't see it , its probably coz i live away from the city and so don't get to see the actual coming up of the place but i get to see some really dirty houses and some extremely pink houses , but soo far i don't see the coming up of the city , may be later....

i think this is a cool place though i mean no where but here have i seen people lining up to die
no really im not kidding , there i was in an auto, going fast , i mean really really , fast, almost 4 kms per hour , damn was i going fast ... and there were cars n buses all around me going even faster , really really fast , i know its hard to believe but its true soo damn fast , i was worried for a second..then i snapped back to reality... soo there i was in the auto ,as fast as it gets...and i look to the side walk and i see a huge line of people just waiting to step on the road , and the cars aren't stopping and the buses just go faster , but these people seem desperate ,and they just step of , yeah i mean it of the side walk and walk across the road , like there are no cars and buses, and they walk and then some how they reach the other side , yeah they do , and they look back in amazement , spit on the concrete and walk away with disgust on their faces , wondering how in gods name their still alive......

yes people u haven't lived until you've crossed a road in front of my college, or a road in India for that matter , the thrill of a car speeding at you, the rush of the bus as it misses u by centimetres, the creeeeeeee of a car braking it stops just in front of you.. yup u haven't lived until then....

but it isnt as bad as it sounds its a new place, a new beginning u can say , a chance to start over , soo no matter what happens , on your first day of college, don't do the same thing u were doing all this time , coz u have one shot take it k....

there it goes again, aight bye have to catch the mosquito this time , killer ones here , i mean it...

njoy

a new day a new beginning..... watch out for missing steps.....

hakuna matata everyone.....

no im not crazy , i have just been inducted into the a.c.c...

for those of you who dont know and dont care , this stands for association for christian christites,
which is a compulsory group or association as it says, that i have to be part of , in my college
why am i boring you with this ?? good question , hmm let me ponder upon it for a while . i shall get back to you hold on.......

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...... i thought long and hard people, and i have come to this conclusion

that is not a carrot.......

yes its true , im sure of it now.......

anyway moving on to more important things, the cement on the walls has dried and therefore its safe to go out now, yes im sure , yes .. dont give me that look... no a huge chunk of coleslaw is not coming to get you... yes im sure... now go , go with god....


if you haven't already noticed im in a weird mood, maybe its because i had my 1st day of college today , officially ..
or it could be because after waiting for a whole year i finally get my drum set , and to my utter disappointment the base pedal and the stand for the symbals is missing , not to mention the stand for my snare drum...
or maybe the darkish thing i drank in the night wasnt coke after all...

or iv just fallen away into the space where i no longer make sense....

whatever the reason maybe , that is definitely not a carrot...... got it??

good.....

now magic eight ball, will i get a flying carpet tomorrow???

....rattle... shake....rattle...shake..rattle...

hmm i dont understand , what does it mean when it says "that isnt a carrot"????

hmm i must be dreaming again...

i drew something a few days ago and i want all of you 3 people to see it , until next time

that isnt a carrot...........

the clouds open up and lo.... an anvil fell .........

Hello, testing , one, two , three,.. is anybody there?.....

yes people i am alive, sigh and smile as you wish , thats why its called your wish isnt it...

imagine a genie comes out of that bottle and says to you"YOU HAVE THREE WISHES , A CAR, A HOUSE AND THE LOVE OF THE PERSON YOU DESIRE THE MOST...."

that would make alladin an interesting story dont you think...

oman has been through hell, no i dont mean the fiery dwelling of the devil himself, i mean the metaphor,

storm gonu...

now , my first question is, who in gods name decided to name it gonu???i mean of all the names you can come up with for a storm , why oh god , why gonu??

while your at it you may as well change the name eof that dwelling i had mentioned earlier , to umm , well....dave....
fiting dont you think,
you are dead,now for all the sins you committed in life you are hereby sentenced to an eternity in dave, you shall be escorted there personally by mel (death), have a pleasant stay...

my second question is , what is a tropical storm doing in oman , at the very beginning of what is supposed to be one of the most hottest month of the year , in the middle of summer??

now , i don't have an answer to the first question simply because i think if anyone knew that answer the guy responsible would have been tracked down, held by the collar and shacked down until he changed the name to something more suitable , but since he hasn't and the name is the same , i believe it cant be fixed and soo i do not know, but i do have an answer for the second question, yes there is a silver lining , apparently there always is a silver lining but i haven't noticed it , iv been too busy with the black stallion and the silver surfer....

the answer is , plain and simple , global warming , , yes the very thing we have been warned against but yet we did nothing , and that lead me to the conclusion that..

WE DIDNT LISTEN......

yes its true , i didnt listen , you didnt listen and we very well know that they all didnt listen , look at them cowering in the corner now . but thats all in the past, dont worry about it now ,

go back to what you were doing , drive that hummer , use those a.c's , release those harmful gasses, that slowly deteriorate our ozone , fragment by fragment , molecule by molecule , untill its completely gone , i mean whats the worst that can happen? i mean soo what if the polar caps melt away , so what if the sea levels rise up , i mean thats a good thing, more water...

you always wanted that sea side apartment , and now you have it , the whole world is submerged, amazing stuff, we should applaud ourselves for this brilliant accomplishment....

now i must leave theres this thing iv always wanted to do you know , i mean spraying millions and billions of cans of , paint , air fresheners , deo, etc...out in the open is always a lot of fun dont you think.....

under the impression that i matter....correct me if im wrong

Well ....

the past week has been a wonderfully wierd one , soo much has happened , and the beauty of the whole thing is that i dont even know the half of it...

starts off as normal as u can imagine, waking up to find yourself somewhere else than you thought you would be, not physicaly but mentally and all that crap..

well i guess it doesnt help , bieng in that new place and screwing up something you would want to  go perfectly , well it doesnt but i recovered from it , took some corrective steps ,

worked out pretty well but i was still there , in that place...

soo i decided, whats the best thing to do when your in a different place... well actually get up and go to another place, soo thats just what i did, i packed my bags got on , 2 amazingly boring and unpredictable flights, and next thing you know im in bangalore,

ofcorse i had my reasons , i mean, i had to go and get into an educational institution, for my higher studies ,, wasnt hard at all , walked in , waited in a que , gave a piece of paper , told them i was a christian, and that i hate bst , in different words though bt yeah then that was it , all i had to do was give them 50500 Rs and i was in .... simple  aint it

and then wow i was back here in old, heat swelled muscat,  just two more plane rides weee yeehaaaw, splish splash , and i was here again , to wallow in self pity like i always do, sick aint it...

well this sounds like a big diary entry soo to avoid accusations im going to say something that is, if not totaly, then atleast slightly funny and may be also a little offensive, but only to all you really emotional types..

have you ever heard of that saying ... 'dont worry about your future , whatever happens happens , and most of the time it happens for the best'

no?hmm must be cause i made it up now but yeah this is just a variation from the thing that people say to you , usualy when something bad happens ,

have you ever wondered what a huge load of crap that is man , i mean come on , how in gods name can that be true....

imagine this scenario ok , yeah cool word dont u think, but yeah imagine this

the tvs on in a living room in iraq, a really really screwed up living room , with all the sofas upturned , and the curtains all chared and in pieces , shattered windows, and the family there nearly in tears , because the whole house is falling apart but yeah the tvs intact and working , now the fathers standing there, wondering what to do nw, where to go on with life , how to live in a place like this????? and the lady on the news comes on and says ....
(in english for your benefit)
"this is breaking news ,we request your attention please , the mosque has been bombed , and all the surrounding buildings have been destroyed......"

the father turns the tv off and falls back agaist the fallen sofa , and begins to cry , weep, 

at that moment someone walks in, this happy go lucky person,with a huge smile on his face and he says
" dont worry , whatever happens happens for the best , and therefore everything is going to be fine dont worry about it ...."

what do you think the father is going to get up and say to that man???

well im not going to tell you , i shall leave it to your imagination , but if you imagine a bullet , a hole and a lot of blood , id think you were right ....

frickin optimistic people , pick your moments man please...........

lost in my thoughts....leave a message il get back to you..........

Hello all you beautiful poeple out there

im soo sorry , yes i am, i truly am , i wish i hadnt done it now , damn......

as of this very moment im listening to  a random song , and having very random  thoughts

very very random unimportant thoughts, like irony and the flying donkey
, havent heard that one yet have you

you dont want to i knw that ,but yet im bieng forced to tell you

yeah there is a gun to my head, happy

i may be the one holding it there but yeah there is a gun to my head soo there you go

heres the story............

the flying donkey was as u can imagine, flying ... happily , high up in the sky no worries
away from all those things that usually bother him like, trees, now it just soo happens that
in the next 10 seconds he ended up crashing into seven different trees , appearing amazingly
out of thin air...
but he goes"i must be dreaming , im the flying donkey , trees cant get me up here , i mean ..."
'POKE' he was cut of by another tree jabbing him straight in the eye...

now any sane donkey would have decided to land in a safe spot and take rest ,,, right??
but this donkey was hit by 8 trees  soo he was not in anyway of sane 
mind and lets face it,
he was a donkey who believed he could fly , total nut job is how u describe him...

where am i going with this story u ask..............i have no clue
im bored , tired , sleepless and pretty much pissed of with things ,

basicaly the donkey thinks something cant happen and then guess what ,it does

i thought u wouldve understood that by now, though , i could be wrong im not really good
at understanding stuff.............