MINDFRAME......LOST

A LIGHT OFMY OWN....AND IT SHINES JUST FOR ME....

2007-12-21T04:10:00.000+05:30

Howdy folks......

how are all you people doing???iv been away a while....life has taken a whole new spin....from gutter to....hmm OK i cant think of a good word to put there...please improvise for me......

life is really intriguing...so is that word...i mean how intriguing is the word intriguing..wow.....but ya thats for later...back to life....life tends to give you a lot...it gives you first of all...a life...ur breathing...soo thats reason to be happy...then it gives you homes...parents that love you...a computer....the list goes on...but life for me is more than that...its given me everything...theres nothing missing in my life...that whole listing out thing i did last time soo i wont again...but life has given me everything....and then it goes and gives me the one thing i wanted the most....love...life gave me the love of someone that i love back as much as you can imagine....and thats amazing ...i could go on and on about what iv been given...on and on and on but il just show you what i mean....

this is for you....its all for you now...only you...the rest doesnt matter anymore.....hope you like it.....

AN IMAGE TO SAVOUR

FLOATING ABOVE THE DARK

KEPT AWAKE BY MY ETERNAL LIGHT

SAFE ONLY FROM MYSELF

LOST ONLY ON THE INSIDE

WITH THIS TIME,PASSING SO SLOW

THOUGHTS OF YOU GROW,BEYOND CONTROL

JUSTWHEN IT SEEMS HOPLESS

AN IMAGE COMES TO LIFE

IMAGE OF LOVE,HOPE AND COMFORT

ENCLOSES ME,AND KEEPS ME SAFE

SURROUNDED BY THAT IMAGE,NO HARM CAN BEFALL

SO PURE,SO COMPLETE,SO SERENE

THE IMAGE CAPTIVATES ME

SO SIMPLE TO BEHOLD

YET SO COMPLEX BY THOUGHT

TAKES OVER MY ALL

IN A TRANCE I RISE UP

ABOVE THE DARK,ABOVE THE FEAR

IN A TRANCE,I FALL DOWN

INTO THE LIGHT,INTO YOUR ARMS

THE IMAGE WAS YOUR BEAUTY

THE IMAGE WAS YOUR PRESENCE

THE IMAGE WAS YOU WITHIN ME

HOLDING ME,KEEPING ME SAFE

EVEN THOUGH THIS TIME TEARS ME APART

THE IMAGE OF YOU KEEPS ME ALIVE,WHOLE

EVEN THOUGH THIS DARK FILLS ME WITH FEAR

YOUR LOVE SURROUNDS AND DISTRACTS ME

EVEN THOUGH YOUR SO FAR AWAY

I FLOAT BACK,SUPPORTED BY OUR LOVE

WHEN I FALL,I KNW YOU'LL FALL WITH ME

AND I KNW I'LL LAND IN YOUR LOVE......FOREVER,IN YOUR LOVE...

......akash
for you...my angel..my soul...my all...........

IM BACK.......WAIT THATS NOT REALLY A GOOD THING...HIDE EVERYONE....HIDE.....

2007-08-31T21:27:00.000+05:30

Iv lost hope...

i finally gave in...i couldn't stand it any longer ......

no matter how much i fought,in the end it int matter..

its true...im not lying,just my being here is proof of how weak i am....

just my stating this proves how i dont stand a chance,how next time it may be the last one...

its true...i finally decided to write another entry....even though i heard screams of ,how no one was reading it and no one cared any more...
but it was then i realised , when did people care in the first case......soooo here i am again at your mercy..

testing 1...2...3..
is anyone out there?????

im in Bangalore city...well pretty close to city...actually im in JP nagar 1st phase...i think..

ha that should fool all you out there trying to find me...

i have mathematically if not by pure imagination calculated a few universal laws that apply to me...i shall now proceed to list them out,regardless of the screams of protest........

universal laws.....

No matter where i go, there has to be a shawarma place extremely close to my house and if there isn't one then in a matter of days you will notice a building there where those kids used to play cricket...and then you notice the shawarma stall and you end up saying "hallheluia.praise the lord..."
There always exists a being who is willing to talk to me at lengths into the night regardless of sleep or things to talk about
I will always get my own room....no matter where i am..or how i got there ,there seems to always be a room there waiting for me ....and of course by some feat of illusionary science,its really big and has room for a drum set and a TV as well as my very own computer

i know,i know i don't deserve it but yet i get it...chase me down and take it away from me if you like,i probably wont protest much....oh and leave behind the drum set and guitar...did i mention i have a guitar...ya i do..unbelievable i know...........i must have done something really helpful to mankind in my previous life...like invented the toilet or something...

anyway its been a long day...i have a longer day tomorrow...well same 24 hours but yet it seems longer when you have to sit through an hour of an economics class,its even worse when your professor is an incompetent idiot but i can manage i have my book and an imagination that can spin the world the other way around..

if anyone reads this then..well I'm alive...

i guess you figured it out by now but just thought id let you know..

chal then....

new song...mayb next time...........

2007-07-12T18:45:00.000+05:30

master of the puppets hes pulling your strings.....

amazing song , u have to agree . for some reason im stared at while head banging to this , and i open my eyes look around see a guy pointing at me from the other side of the basket ball court and then i see a guy in front of me video taping the thing n everyone else laughing at me sooo i close my eyes and wonder where the hell i ended up......

if headbanging to that song makes me a weirdo then damn it i am the proudest weirdo in the world.......

here i am people in Bangalore , its supposed to be one of the most upcoming city's in the world, some how i don't see it , its probably coz i live away from the city and so don't get to see the actual coming up of the place but i get to see some really dirty houses and some extremely pink houses , but soo far i don't see the coming up of the city , may be later....

i think this is a cool place though i mean no where but here have i seen people lining up to die
no really im not kidding , there i was in an auto, going fast , i mean really really , fast, almost 4 kms per hour , damn was i going fast ... and there were cars n buses all around me going even faster , really really fast , i know its hard to believe but its true soo damn fast , i was worried for a second..then i snapped back to reality... soo there i was in the auto ,as fast as it gets...and i look to the side walk and i see a huge line of people just waiting to step on the road , and the cars aren't stopping and the buses just go faster , but these people seem desperate ,and they just step of , yeah i mean it of the side walk and walk across the road , like there are no cars and buses, and they walk and then some how they reach the other side , yeah they do , and they look back in amazement , spit on the concrete and walk away with disgust on their faces , wondering how in gods name their still alive......

yes people u haven't lived until you've crossed a road in front of my college, or a road in India for that matter , the thrill of a car speeding at you, the rush of the bus as it misses u by centimetres, the creeeeeeee of a car braking it stops just in front of you.. yup u haven't lived until then....

but it isnt as bad as it sounds its a new place, a new beginning u can say , a chance to start over , soo no matter what happens , on your first day of college, don't do the same thing u were doing all this time , coz u have one shot take it k....

there it goes again, aight bye have to catch the mosquito this time , killer ones here , i mean it...

njoy

a new day a new beginning..... watch out for missing steps.....

2007-06-10T00:56:00.000+05:30

hakuna matata everyone.....

no im not crazy , i have just been inducted into the a.c.c...

for those of you who dont know and dont care , this stands for association for christian christites,
which is a compulsory group or association as it says, that i have to be part of , in my college
why am i boring you with this ?? good question , hmm let me ponder upon it for a while . i shall get back to you hold on.......

.
.
...
.........
.....................

...... i thought long and hard people, and i have come to this conclusion

that is not a carrot.......

yes its true , im sure of it now.......

anyway moving on to more important things, the cement on the walls has dried and therefore its safe to go out now, yes im sure , yes .. dont give me that look... no a huge chunk of coleslaw is not coming to get you... yes im sure... now go , go with god....

if you haven't already noticed im in a weird mood, maybe its because i had my 1st day of college today , officially ..
or it could be because after waiting for a whole year i finally get my drum set , and to my utter disappointment the base pedal and the stand for the symbals is missing , not to mention the stand for my snare drum...
or maybe the darkish thing i drank in the night wasnt coke after all...

or iv just fallen away into the space where i no longer make sense....

whatever the reason maybe , that is definitely not a carrot...... got it??

good.....

now magic eight ball, will i get a flying carpet tomorrow???

....rattle... shake....rattle...shake..rattle...

hmm i dont understand , what does it mean when it says "that isnt a carrot"????

hmm i must be dreaming again...

i drew something a few days ago and i want all of you 3 people to see it , until next time

that isnt a carrot...........

the clouds open up and lo.... an anvil fell .........

2007-06-09T01:08:00.001+05:30

Hello, testing , one, two , three,.. is anybody there?.....

yes people i am alive, sigh and smile as you wish , thats why its called your wish isnt it...

imagine a genie comes out of that bottle and says to you"YOU HAVE THREE WISHES , A CAR, A HOUSE AND THE LOVE OF THE PERSON YOU DESIRE THE MOST...."

that would make alladin an interesting story dont you think...

oman has been through hell, no i dont mean the fiery dwelling of the devil himself, i mean the metaphor,

storm gonu...

now , my first question is, who in gods name decided to name it gonu???i mean of all the names you can come up with for a storm , why oh god , why gonu??

while your at it you may as well change the name eof that dwelling i had mentioned earlier , to umm , well....dave....
fiting dont you think,
you are dead,now for all the sins you committed in life you are hereby sentenced to an eternity in dave, you shall be escorted there personally by mel (death), have a pleasant stay...

my second question is , what is a tropical storm doing in oman , at the very beginning of what is supposed to be one of the most hottest month of the year , in the middle of summer??

now , i don't have an answer to the first question simply because i think if anyone knew that answer the guy responsible would have been tracked down, held by the collar and shacked down until he changed the name to something more suitable , but since he hasn't and the name is the same , i believe it cant be fixed and soo i do not know, but i do have an answer for the second question, yes there is a silver lining , apparently there always is a silver lining but i haven't noticed it , iv been too busy with the black stallion and the silver surfer....

the answer is , plain and simple , global warming , , yes the very thing we have been warned against but yet we did nothing , and that lead me to the conclusion that..

WE DIDNT LISTEN......

yes its true , i didnt listen , you didnt listen and we very well know that they all didnt listen , look at them cowering in the corner now . but thats all in the past, dont worry about it now ,

go back to what you were doing , drive that hummer , use those a.c's , release those harmful gasses, that slowly deteriorate our ozone , fragment by fragment , molecule by molecule , untill its completely gone , i mean whats the worst that can happen? i mean soo what if the polar caps melt away , so what if the sea levels rise up , i mean thats a good thing, more water...

you always wanted that sea side apartment , and now you have it , the whole world is submerged, amazing stuff, we should applaud ourselves for this brilliant accomplishment....

now i must leave theres this thing iv always wanted to do you know , i mean spraying millions and billions of cans of , paint , air fresheners , deo, etc...out in the open is always a lot of fun dont you think.....

under the impression that i matter....correct me if im wrong

2007-06-01T21:10:00.000+05:30

Well ....

the past week has been a wonderfully wierd one , soo much has happened , and the beauty of the whole thing is that i dont even know the half of it...

starts off as normal as u can imagine, waking up to find yourself somewhere else than you thought you would be, not physicaly but mentally and all that crap..

well i guess it doesnt help , bieng in that new place and screwing up something you would want to go perfectly , well it doesnt but i recovered from it , took some corrective steps ,

worked out pretty well but i was still there , in that place...

soo i decided, whats the best thing to do when your in a different place... well actually get up and go to another place, soo thats just what i did, i packed my bags got on , 2 amazingly boring and unpredictable flights, and next thing you know im in bangalore,

ofcorse i had my reasons , i mean, i had to go and get into an educational institution, for my higher studies ,, wasnt hard at all , walked in , waited in a que , gave a piece of paper , told them i was a christian, and that i hate bst , in different words though bt yeah then that was it , all i had to do was give them 50500 Rs and i was in .... simple aint it

and then wow i was back here in old, heat swelled muscat, just two more plane rides weee yeehaaaw, splish splash , and i was here again , to wallow in self pity like i always do, sick aint it...

well this sounds like a big diary entry soo to avoid accusations im going to say something that is, if not totaly, then atleast slightly funny and may be also a little offensive, but only to all you really emotional types..

have you ever heard of that saying ... 'dont worry about your future , whatever happens happens , and most of the time it happens for the best'

no?hmm must be cause i made it up now but yeah this is just a variation from the thing that people say to you , usualy when something bad happens ,

have you ever wondered what a huge load of crap that is man , i mean come on , how in gods name can that be true....

imagine this scenario ok , yeah cool word dont u think, but yeah imagine this

the tvs on in a living room in iraq, a really really screwed up living room , with all the sofas upturned , and the curtains all chared and in pieces , shattered windows, and the family there nearly in tears , because the whole house is falling apart but yeah the tvs intact and working , now the fathers standing there, wondering what to do nw, where to go on with life , how to live in a place like this????? and the lady on the news comes on and says ....
(in english for your benefit)
"this is breaking news ,we request your attention please , the mosque has been bombed , and all the surrounding buildings have been destroyed......"

the father turns the tv off and falls back agaist the fallen sofa , and begins to cry , weep,

at that moment someone walks in, this happy go lucky person,with a huge smile on his face and he says
" dont worry , whatever happens happens for the best , and therefore everything is going to be fine dont worry about it ...."

what do you think the father is going to get up and say to that man???

well im not going to tell you , i shall leave it to your imagination , but if you imagine a bullet , a hole and a lot of blood , id think you were right ....

frickin optimistic people , pick your moments man please...........

lost in my thoughts....leave a message il get back to you..........

2007-05-25T16:37:00.000+05:30

Hello all you beautiful poeple out there

im soo sorry , yes i am, i truly am , i wish i hadnt done it now , damn......

as of this very moment im listening to a random song , and having very random thoughts

very very random unimportant thoughts, like irony and the flying donkey
, havent heard that one yet have you

you dont want to i knw that ,but yet im bieng forced to tell you

yeah there is a gun to my head, happy

i may be the one holding it there but yeah there is a gun to my head soo there you go

heres the story............

the flying donkey was as u can imagine, flying ... happily , high up in the sky no worries
away from all those things that usually bother him like, trees, now it just soo happens that
in the next 10 seconds he ended up crashing into seven different trees , appearing amazingly
out of thin air...
but he goes"i must be dreaming , im the flying donkey , trees cant get me up here , i mean ..."
'POKE' he was cut of by another tree jabbing him straight in the eye...

now any sane donkey would have decided to land in a safe spot and take rest ,,, right??
but this donkey was hit by 8 trees soo he was not in anyway of sane
mind and lets face it,
he was a donkey who believed he could fly , total nut job is how u describe him...

where am i going with this story u ask..............i have no clue
im bored , tired , sleepless and pretty much pissed of with things ,

basicaly the donkey thinks something cant happen and then guess what ,it does

i thought u wouldve understood that by now, though , i could be wrong im not really good
at understanding stuff.............

lost in a dream........... , never to be found.........

2007-05-23T23:29:00.000+05:30

The world as we know it is coming to an end, one of the biggest points of our
lives is approaching , wait it already came and went damn im too late ....

ok um yeah anyway another important thing is coming along
its way ready to cause havoc on the world,well not the world ,
basically my head but yeah its not such a big deal , coz well

here i am to take your mind of all of this nonsense, yes im the saviour , i have found
something pure, that hopefuly should take your mind off all
the worry and fear u have now ........

imagine wanting something sooo bad that if u only posses it in your dreams
that u never want to wake up , never want 2 let go of that dream................

imagine how much u would want it, it would be your dream neverending, well heres mine

DREAM NEVERENDING

Rays of light fall through the clouds
Rays of hope fall down on me
Light of love sets me free
Light of you makes me, me

Descending through the clouds
Shining down upon me
Darkness flees, no longer there
I feel complete , no longer scared

You reach for me and I grab hold
As we rise up
Clouds close in around us
They bind us together never to break free

I feel the love around me
I feel your grasp tighten
To scared to wake up
Scared this dream will end

The words don’t come out
My mind has gone numb
All focus on you
The world melts away and you remain

In your arms ,I notice nothing
Lost in your eyes ,I see nothing else
I see infinity, I see your beauty
I see hope ,shining through

I fall deeper into your eyes
Hoping dreaming that I can have you for just one moment
That moment shall last a lifetime
That moment shall never die

My love spreads through the skies
Blocking the sun
More space is needed
Just to show how much i love you

Rock my boat
Put me to sleep
Alone in your arms
Lost in dreams of you

When they open again
My dream is shattered
My world is gone
I shut them once more

To see your splendour
To feel your touch
To dream again
Dream of love, dream of YOU

---------------akash

Catastrophe... but i have a solution......

2007-05-17T01:39:00.000+05:30

An issue of cozmic proportions has occured to me of late, and me,bieng the stand up ,
nice guy that i am have decided to share it with you....

as you all know the world is spinning, round and round around the axis just
like u learnt in 2nd or 3rd standard ,
wel its the same bt somehow its begun to spin the other way , causing catastrophe
scientists say this could cause a change in the space time patterns and also
, if it continues this way, time will go backwards causing millions to die ,
wel not die but , have thier lives rewound ,
untill they um get born n well u can understand how this works ......

i have been doing research and well i have understood how it can be stopped ...
now this may seem a little drastic but heres what i observed in my lab.......

i placed a ball in a rat cage and like all rats ,it
climbed on top of it and started spinning it in one direction,
and it was spinning , round and round and round , then i
placed more rats in the cage and they climbed on top as well
doing what rats do best, but i placed them in such a way that
they climbed upon it and ran in the other direction and miraculously
it began to spin in the other direction slowly and slowly but it happened .....

i have come to this conlusion ,

in order to reverse this catastrophe we must,...........

shoot me dead,

until then
peace on earth...........

wake up ,stop crying ,open your eyes ,see the truth........

2007-05-09T23:47:00.000+05:30

After hearing minutes to midnight for the umpteenth time , im spellbound , simply shocked at what these guys can do with 12 songs

how much emotion they can put into just a few words, and how they find a way to show u exactly what that emotion is , and to top it off it sounds so fricking amazing , soo beautiful, soo awesome.

how do u make a song that can bring a person to tears , no not cause it sux bt because its simply beautiful , plainly put these guys rock , beyond anything else.

close your eyes, press play and just get washed away

song after song emotion after emotion , u will be captured by thier music , by what they are trying to say.

open your eyes , stop crying , and see the truth.

on a completely unrelated topic , its raining in india ,or it was.

rain, i think is beautiful, 3rd time im using this word , way too many for my count,

have u ever stopped and thought bout rain ,one day u should just stand
in a place where its going to rain for scertain, stand in a place where ur
vision to the sky isnt impaired ,
and just look up and wait for that 1st drop ,for the drops to fall ,
can u imagine how briliant that would be.

ever wonder ,what ur leaving behind when ur gone ???????????

ever wondered what people will be saying at ur funeral , praying or thanking god ?????

hmm guesss nt.

theres a song called valentines day n man will it take u away. hey that rhymed, cool.

one day im going to walk away from all of this and that will be the day that someone , sneakes up from behind and gives me a wedgie(thnx kev)

soo im thinkin i dont walk away ...... makes more sense dat way theres less hurt in the rear area , wow im boring

well its back to my rock ,who btw is called betsy.

cya

THOUGH THE CLOUDS I CAN SEE THE LIGHT........ THROUGH THE CLOUDS I CAN FEEL YOUR WARMTH.....

2007-05-08T17:31:00.000+05:30

Captains log , day 2 ...................

boredom strikes at the most random of times doesnt it, well now im actually not bored
im feeling different now , like ....like sumthing has changed

iv moved onto a more serious plane.....

as of now i havent displayed any of my poetic talent for which i am renown
well i deicide to write a poem to express love ..plain and simple ....LOVE

Love is really really complicated and im not gonna sit here and try to explain it
heres a poem i wrote describing my love. comment on it , if u like it.
this ones for you beautiful, hope you like it

ENCLOSED BY YOU

so i stand here ,
awaiting the end,
awaiting your peace,
rain down upon me,

losing my mind ,
triying to find peace,
searching for you,
only darkness i see,

set me free oh divine one,
break my shackles,
bring me peace,
embrace me and keep me warm,

breath to me and blow away my fears,
sing to me and let me regain conciousness
smile and chase away all the demons
protect me from my reality

smile at me and take me away
show me the sun , bring me light
open my eyes and let me see you
let your love flow through me

your eyes sparkle with the light of a 100 stars
your beauty captures me and leaves me in awe
lost forever in your eyes
searching for a place in your heart

hoping to find a reason
willing to die for you
lying here next to you
i dont want to move , ever

oh divine angel take me to your heaven
take me to our peace
take me away from the lies i cant stand
bind me forever, forever with you

there it is , just for you,
from me
akash

The truth hurts , but my fists hurt more

2007-05-07T19:45:00.000+05:30

well its been a long journey untill this point . you see this point is where i begin to wonder
what all other points are and why there actually are points 2 begin with.

here is where it all starts, my journey to the truth , my passage way into what
i believe to be true, u get my point .

im not scared bt i am a little dramatic though.

hmm where did that come from??

yeah nyway the way i see it , when i find the truth i shuld feel fullfilled ,complete and/or misguided.

supposedly the truth hurts , n i for 1 can assure u dat it does , just imagine bieng
pounded 2 biits for information that u dont have and thats how it feels
when u knw the truth.

now bieng a person with zero intellect and even less knowledge bout
anything, i can state that life sux and u shuld cry sumwhere in a corner
, bt dats just me ok.

on a much lighter note i just figured out why everything is blue, do u want 2 knw ,
huh , was that a yes, well ok il tell u.

everything is blue coz , and only bcoz its not.

u c how dat works out, its al blue for the sole reason that it isnt,.....
ahhhhhhhh forget it u wont understand,
im just all alone , ooh yeah bout dat

what are we???????????????????????
in the end after everything what we are is ALONE.

untill u figure that out il go and spend some alone time with my rock ok.

enjoy.

Another day , another end

2007-05-07T17:51:00.000+05:30

SO....... here we are

here i am preparing myself for the long journey on which i choose to bore you time and again...

why am i making a blog u ask??????well when you spend a majority ofyour day writing and thinking about what you shuld be writing and about how people would react to these writings , a blog was my
best option then ....

hopefully im not as bad as i am told and some of you actually may read this and if u have anything .... anything at all to say
comment ... and then comment again well ok just the one time will
do but yeah please do comment , you see all of this ... im doing it for you . yes you its all
about u in the end

sooo now i shall take your leave... and you wont ever get it back.
sorry

thank you come again.....